This Thing I Call Faith
This I do believe: Faith is what helps me with the difficulties life gives. No matter what religion I am, faith is always going to facilitate me through the hard times in life. You may not take the time to think about it, but faith is what makes dreams come true. Just like the Disney movies that we watch, everything comes true with magic. Faith is that magic, and is what makes those wishes and dreams come true. I always had family and friends tell me to always have faith and pray. Nevertheless, I had doubts, confusion, and questions about what faith was. I would later find out what faith was, and how I was able to save my life.
One particular experience that I would never forget was when I was in a relationship I couldn't get out of. Though it may sound dumb, it happens to women everyday. They are stuck in relationships where they are controlled and abused and have nowhere to turn to. Everything I did was wrong to this person. Nothing I did was right no matter how hard I tried to make things work. I felt unappreciated, alone, and confused. However, at the same time I felt this attachment to him and could not let go. At the time, I wasn't smart enough to know what this person was trying to do, and instead let him control every move I made in my life.
Then, I could remember going to church one day by myself, just to pray. Praying was all I knew I could do without being told to do so. I thought God was the only one that could hear me crying out for help. No one else seemed to notice what was truly going on with me. I didn't want to show that I was in danger because I feared for my life. My mood changed, my appearance changed, I changed as a whole. I'm still not that Karina that everyone used to know, I am completely different now. On the contrary, I kept in mind that my family had always told me to have faith no matter what. They said God was always listening and would never let me down. Yet, I still had a little doubt, and I was starting to believe different. This relationship turned me into a person I never wanted to be.
I felt like I wasn't human anymore because of all the pain I had endured and how he treated me. I remember being scared and feeling helpless, but I knew that there was a God, and he was watching me. Later, I began to realize that there are people that cared and were trying to help me. I just chose to ignore it and act like everything was fine. Finally, my prayers were answered; faith was helping me get out. My feelings toward this person started to change and soon everything was different. It was if I woke up from a nightmare and realized how much I was hurting myself. At this point, I knew that I was finally strong enough to stand up and get respect for myself.
As a result, I got the strength to get out. It was extremely hard at first, but with the love of my current boyfriend and my belief of faith, I was able to save my own life. If it wasn't for him being there and giving me his love, I know I wouldn't of got the strength that I needed to get out. I knew that if I were unable to get out of that relationship, I would not be here today. After I did, I was able to love again, laugh, and be myself, something I always hoped I would be able to do again. Therefore, being religious has nothing to do with how much faith I have. Going to church every Sunday isn't going to give me more faith nor take away faith. Saying a prayer every now and then giving thanks for my life helps me gain the belief of faith. I've always heard that God worked in mysterious ways, and I'm proof of that. I had to undergo a great deal of pain in order for me to be the happiest I have ever been. To conclude, I did have doubts about faith when I was younger, but as an adult, I am a strong believer of faith because of my experience. I believe the worst is over for now; it is time for me to move on and live the healthy life I deserve.
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